When It All Falls Apart
by Podchaser
Summary: Jackie's hurt by Sam's arrival. Her thoughts and feelings about it. After being abandoned by her love and her friends, she makes a decision. Inspired by the song "When It All Falls Apart" by The Veronicas. AU Season 8.
1. When It All Falls Apart

Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show. If I did, Jackie and Hyde would have ended up together.

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Jackie ran from the Foremans' house to Donna's room where she had been living for some time now. Her heart had just been broken into a million pieces by the man she loved. Things between Steven and her had always been rocky, but they always managed to make it through. However, this time it had gone too far. There was no way they could get back together.

_I'm having the day from hell,_

_It was all going so well (before you came)_

_And you told me you needed space,_

_With a kiss on the side my face (not again)_

_And not to mention (the tears I shed)_

_But I should have kicked your (ass instead)_

_I need intervention_

_Attention to stop temptation to scream_

'_Cause baby_

She threw herself on the bed and started sobbing. Her whole body shook with the force of her sobs. Then she got up and pulled her diary out of its hiding spot and started writing in it.

"Dear Diary,

It's over between me and Steven. This time it's for good. Everything could have been fixed if only that whore hadn't showed up. What can I do now? I feel like I'm dying. Steven just doesn't love me anymore. No…that's wrong. He never loved me. Going to Vegas and getting married is proof he never cared for me at all. But…I don't know what to do now. When things went wrong, I always went to him. Who do I turn to now?"

She ran out of things to say. She was too upset to continue writing. She just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. After a few hours of more crying, she finally fell asleep. No one had gone to check on her.

_Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart_

_Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up where do I start_

'_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No_

Things didn't get any better the next day. Steven had decided to give marriage a try. It only broke Jackie's spirit even more to see _her_ Puddin' Pop with that woman. She was sitting on her bed, reading a magazine, after having cried her eyes out some more in the morning. She couldn't face them again. Not after that.

"I can't believe he's letting her stay! We could have fixed things still. I would have forgiven him. I love him too much to let him go. But he wants to play house with that slut! And if that wasn't enough…Donna is on his side. What about me?!" She complained out loud to herself.

_Don't know where I parked my car_

_Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)_

_I put my faith in you_

_What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)_

_And not to mention (I drank too much)_

_I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)_

_I need intervention _

_Attention to stop temptation to scream_

'_Cause baby_

Jackie was walking around town to try to clear her head. She went past The Hub, but decided it would be better to just avoid any place _they_ would be. She didn't even have her friends to turn to. They had welcomed Sam with open arms. Jackie had never felt more alone in her life. She had always thought that after all those years of hanging out with them, the gang had actually began to care about her. But, as soon as they found someone to replace her, they just dumped her…"Just like…" She chocked back tears and ran. She had finally come to a decision on what to do.

_Can it be easier?_

_Can I just change my life?_

'_Cause it just seems to go bad every time_

_Will I be mending?_

_Another one ending once again_

Jackie walked to the bus station with all that she owned. "Maybe a new life in New York will work out better for me," she thought as she bought her one way ticket to New York. "I just wish he would come for me. Like the prince I thought he was…" She boarded the bus and found a seat close to the back. She wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone. As the bus was leaving Point Place, she remembered all the happy memories the town held. "Not anymore. Staying here would just completely destroy me."

_Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart_

_Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up where do I start_

'_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No_

Tears fell down her face as the bus drove out of Point Place. She was leaving everyone she loved behind. "They won't care," she thought while she chocked back sobs. "They have her now…"

_Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart_

_Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up where do I start_

'_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No_

Steven Hyde walked into the empty basement after a night of heavy drinking. She had meant the world to him. And now there was no way in hell he could get her back. He had looked for her everywhere in town. He wanted to explain. To finally talk to her and tell her…just tell her how he felt…He walked into his old room with a small hope in his heart. Sometimes he would walk in and there she was. As he turned on the light he realized, that was then. An empty room crushed his heart. But he saw a note on the bed. He looked at it, then crumpled it up and threw it on the floor. He collapsed on the bed. He just couldn't bear to see anyone right now…

The one time he would have loved to hear one her endless rants, he found only one word on the piece of paper.

_Goodbye._

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Author's Note: Please Review! This is my first That 70s Show fanfic. I heard this song and it sounded how Jackie felt after Sam showed up. Hope you all like it. I'm not sure if I want to make it longer or not. Right now it's just a one-shot.


	2. The Winner Takes It All

Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show. If I did, I'd be rich…and it would have ended differently!

The song I used in this chapter is "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA.

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_I don't want to talk_

_About the things we've gone through_

_Though it's hurting me_

_Now it's history_

_I've played all my cards_

_And that's what you've done too_

_Nothing more to say_

_No more ace to play_

_The winner takes it all_

_The loser standing small_

_Beside the victory,_

_That's her destiny_

It had been weeks since anyone had heard from Jackie. Even though he acted like he could care less where Jackie had ran off to, Hyde jumped every time he heard high heels on the concrete steps leading to the basement. He was lying on the couch. The basement was empty. Sam was off with Donna and Fez at the mall. He was glad they were gone. He didn't like being around them anymore. "Not without her…" he thought. He listened as the song changed tempo. "Plus if they were here, I would never live this down…"

_I was in your arms,_

_Thinking I belonged there_

_I figured it made sense_

_Building me a fence_

_Building me a home_

_Thinking I'd be strong there_

_But I was a fool_

_Playing by the rules_

Not only was Steven J. Hyde listening to ABBA, he could finally relate to the songs his loud ex-girlfriend had rattled on about for years. But it wasn't just about the song…When the basement was all empty and he listened to _her_ record, he felt like she was with him. He closed his eyes and sighed. He could imagine the strong smell of strawberries that always seemed to surround her.

_The gods may throw a dice_

_Their minds as cold as ice_

_And someone way down here _

_Loses someone dear_

_The winner takes it all_

_The loser has to fall_

_It's simple and it's plain_

_Why should I complain?_

He would never admit how lost he felt without Jackie. Most of the time they'd been together, he'd go on and on about how much she annoyed him. But he was never serious about it. She was the only person who truly understood him. And she made him feel…something he had been unable to do since he was very small…

_But tell me, does she kiss _

_Like I used to kiss you?_

_Does it feel the same? _

_When she calls your name?_

_Somewhere deep inside_

_You must know I miss you_

_But what can I say?_

_Rules must obeyed_

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard loud footsteps coming down the wood stairs. He quickly jumped up to turn off the record. His adopted mother came down stairs with a letter.

"Oh hi, Steven. I thought maybe your funny foreign friend was here. I swear I can never quite remember his name. Anyways, someone sent him a letter. No return address though," said Kitty Forman with her naturally sweet tone. Steven was frozen solid in his spot. Even from here, he could recognize that girly handwriting. He heard Mrs. Forman say something but he couldn't quite catch it. "What?"

"I was asking if you would give it to him." She set the letter on the table and went back upstairs. Hyde quickly grabbed it and went to his room in the back. After making sure the door was locked and there was something blocking it, he sat heavily on the cot. He closed his eyes and smelt the letter. It was her. The smell took him back to so many happy memories that had included this old cot. Reality sunk in fast, however, as he realized she was no longer here. He ripped open the letter and started to read what was obviously not meant for him.

_Dear Fez,_

_I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't sit there and see Steven play house with that whore. I know she's your friend, but it's the truth. But I'm not writing this to complain. I'm writing to tell you I'm ok. I called my mom and she sent me some money. I'm staying in a hotel in New York City until I can find an apartment and a job. Please don't try to find me. I'm not coming back. I'll send you another letter once I'm settled in._

_Jackie Burkhart_

No amount of zen in the world could hide his disappointment. He expected more. "Or at least an address," he thought. He crumpled the letter and threw it as hard as he could at the wall. As he tossed the ripped envelope onto the floor, he noticed something on the envelope. He smiled as he grabbed a bag and started throwing clothes in it.

Meanwhile, Donna, Fez, and Sam were back from their shopping trip. Sam walked to the record player and turned it on. The song Hyde had been listening to came back on.

_The judges will decide_

_The likes of me abide_

_Spectators of the show _

_Always staying low_

"Psh…ABBA? Who likes crap?" she asked looking at Donna and Fez for an answer. Donna answered her with a sad tone to her voice, "Jackie does." Same threw her head back and laughed. Fez and Donna just looked at each other hopefully. "You think my goddess is back?" Fez asked Donna quietly. But before she could answer, Hyde came out from his room with a suitcase and a bag. His glasses were nowhere to be found and he looked pissed.

"Shut the hell up," That shut Sam up quick. He threw the suitcase at her feet. "I'm leaving for a week or so. I want you gone when I come back. I'll send you the divorce papers." All three of them looked at Hyde like he was insane, but he could care less. He got in his El Camino and drove to the bus station. He couldn't stay here and do nothing. It had taken him a month to figure it out, but he finally knew the answer. He made sure the little black box was still in his pocket as he boarded the bus to New York.

_The game is on again_

_A lover or a friend_

_A big thing or a small_

_The winner takes it all…_

_

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_Author's Note: So… I know I said this story would probably just be a one-shot, but I was encouraged by all of you guys to keep going. And after making some CDs for my car, and listening to a lot of ABBA, inspiration hit me. Please review. I need to know how I'm doing so far! :)


	3. Here We Go Again

Disclaimer: I own nothing. :(

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Clothes lay scattered throughout the room. Her make up bag was thrown on the bed. She was supposed to be moving in to her new apartment today. But Jackie Burkhart sat on the hotel room's couch watching some ridiculous soap opera that was making tears roll down her cheeks. She had tried to convince herself the rain was making her sleepy, but that wasn't the real reason she wasn't packing her suitcase. If she left the hotel and went to a more permanent place, it would mean there was no turning back. And she so desperately wanted her knight in shining armor to come rescue her. New York wasn't as glorious as she had expected it to be. The streets were dirty and the people were mean. She wouldn't be a princess in a glorious mansion. She would just be a kid in a shitty apartment. A knock at the door shattered her train of thought.

"It's probably the manager telling me I need to leave," she thought. But the last person she expected to be outside that door was there when she opened it.

Jackie, being the kind of girl she was, had practiced what she would tell Steven Hyde if she ever saw him again. She had a whole speech prepared. But once she saw him there, dripping wet, all thoughts left her brain. He didn't have his glasses on, so she could tell he was nervous. For the first time in her life, she was actually speechless. He was the first to break the silence.

"Are you going to let me in?" Jackie stepped aside to let him in and shut the door once he was in. After a few more moments of silence, she finally found her voice, "What are you doing here?"

Steven, who had been looking around the messy room, looked pointedly away from her when she spoke. Jackie began getting impatient. He never had an answer for anything. It was too much for her.

"Honestly, _Hyde_. What the hell do you want? You really had to come all the way out here to rub it in my face how much you hate me? How the hell did you find me anyways? I'm going to kill Fez. What do you want? Answer me, damnit!" Hyde kept quiet for a few more seconds while weighing his words carefully, which only made Jackie more furious. When he finally spoke, it was in the same soft voice he had used the only time he had told her he loved her, "I want you to come home."

Jackie laughed. It wasn't her usual, bubbly laugh. It was a very bitter laugh.

"Steven, I'm never going back."

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Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delay. Finals started and I was really busy at school. But now I'm out for a month! I'm also really stuck as far as how I want this story to go. Don't worry though, I'm not going to abandon it. I know this is really short, but it's more of a transitional chapter. I promise the next one will be much better.


	4. What Happened To Our Love?

Author's Note: I own nothing…

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_Jackie laughed. It wasn't her usual, bubbly laugh. It was a very bitter laugh. _

"_Steven, I'm never going back."_

"Jackie…you have to come back. We…I…need you. I made Sam leave. Things will go back to the way they were." Jackie just shook her head.

"Steven, we were broken before Sam! That only made it worse. Things can never go back to what they used to be. You left me when I needed you the most! You abandoned me, even though you promised you would never do that." Tears formed in her eyes and were threatening to fall. If Steven had one weakness, it was crying girls.

"Jackie, you can't just blame me! You pushed and pushed for something I wasn't ready for. I told you when we started this relationship I couldn't commit like that. But you pushed for me to propose!"

"That wasn't what I wanted! You still don't get it, do you?" Tears were streaming down her cheeks now, "All I wanted was to know you loved me like I love you. I wanted to be reassured. Do you know how difficult it is to love someone who never shows his emotions?! I never knew what to think! I was always scared. And then…" She cut off and turned away.

"Then what Jackie? What were you going to say?" Jackie tried to walk away, but he grabbed her and forced her to look at him, "What happened?"

"I…it doesn't matter now…it's too late…"

"Jackie, tell me!" As he yelled at her, she broke down.

"That first time when I asked you…I thought I was going to have a baby…" Steven let go of her and she collapsed to the floor sobbing, while he stood there completely stunned. When he found his voice, it was small, "What happened to the baby? Did you…" He didn't finish the question, but Jackie knew what he was going to ask. She looked up at him in horror. His question had taken away all the tears.

"Steven, I would never do that to our baby…No…I was never pregnant. But I was scared…I needed to know you were there for me, no matter what. All I wanted was for you to tell me that you wanted to be with me. I didn't want a wedding ring. I wanted to know I wasn't alone." Steven sat on the floor next to her. He wanted to hold her, but he knew she would close up again if he touched her.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have dealt with it together. You shouldn't have had to deal with that scare alone." Jackie chocked back a sob.

"How was I supposed to tell you? I didn't know how you'd react. You always use your stupid zen. I never knew how you truly felt about me. What if you left me? That's why I wanted to know you'd love me no matter what." He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She tensed up, but didn't push him away.

"Jackie, I love you. I would have been scared, but I wouldn't have run away. We would have been in it together." Jackie started to pull away.

"It doesn't matter anymore. We're done." She tried to sound convincing, but her voice faltered. Steven was stronger than her. Try as she might, she couldn't pull his arms away.

"Tell me right now you don't love me anymore. Tell me you're done with this relationship and I'll leave you alone. But we both know this isn't over. It can't be. I can't let you go." Fresh tears fell from her mismatched eyes. He wiped them away. "No more tears, doll."

"Steven, I…" He cut her off with a kiss. At first she resisted, but then she melted into it.

"It doesn't matter. We'll work it out. After all, we're good at everything." He smirked at her and she finally laughed.

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Author's Note: I apologize for the delay. I had a serious case of writer's block. Then school started back up and I've been super busy. I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I'm happy to be moving this story along. I'm not quite sure where it will lead. I could end it here, but I feel like it deserves more. I just don't know what to do with it. Any ideas? Should I end it here or try to go on?


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